What I’ve Learned in the First 6 Weeks
Six weeks ago our world became something new with the arrival of our youngest daughter Genevieve. I feel like I have lived a hundred lifetimes since last year leading up to this moment. Creativity sparking between the early sleepless nights while we sorted out what was making her colicky. I found myself relearning how to do everything one handed with the five year age gap from our son and reminding myself to pause long enough to feel something sacred in the middle of it all.
I’d like to acknowledge both the ache and the wonder of change. Beginning something new is both restless and beautiful. I’ve circled back to the roots of my creativity and writing, sharing how to find all the beauty in something simple and encouraging you readers to create magic in the mundane. warm bottles, soft burp cloths in wheat tones, grocery lists scratched down on lined paper between baby snuggles. I’m still healing, still in need of rest but i feel whole.
The shift of becoming a mother again is something special, each child changes the shape of your heart in new ways. A sweet tenderness and unraveling, like opening a gift. This isn't my first baby but mothering four is a first. Our world is a little different, four little stories are being written before me as I cradle new life in my arms. I'm grateful for what has become and I feel like I’m exactly where I’m meant to be.
Maybe it’s the morning light in the kitchen, the smell of my husband making coffee, the way the older kids love on their new sister, or how i’ve made space and time to keep creating but I feel this new flame in life. I’ve had to submit to this new rhythm of ours, slow and gentle. Breakfast runs a little later, my coffee needs to be reheated, Johnathan and I take turns swaying our girl between folding laundry, and our kids find connection with us while playing on our bedroom floor… the occasional little voice of a helpful sibling asking to assist is something i cherish. I'm learning to love the dailiness of it all… purpose is found between the diaper changes and I have been allowing my creativity to be a companion not a performance.
I’m someone new, it’s a quiet kind of victory. I’m Softer. Stronger. Braver. Sturdier. While I still don’t have all the answers, I’m learning that maybe the becoming is the most beautiful part.